Persistence on journey to recovery pays off

When Joseph*. first tried alcohol at age 15, the sensation was exhilarating and euphoric. “I loved it,” he says. “It felt like the strongest bond I had ever realized in my life.” Drinking gave him confidence. He felt funnier, wittier and more accepted.

His friends didn’t have this same strong reaction to alcohol and didn’t understand Joseph’s immediate obsession with finding the next drink. As a result, Joseph forged new friendships and basked in the new attention. “For me, I thought alcohol created this edgy personality that people loved.”

Joseph drank heavily through high school and university, and this caution-to-the-wind habit continued when he moved back to his hometown for work in the finance sector. Starting his career, he hid the amount he was drinking from family and friends, but believed it was something he could control. “I felt I was strong enough to handle it.”

As time passed, however, Joseph was letting people down, underperforming at work, and becoming a person he didn’t recognize. “But I couldn’t admit I had a problem to my friends.” He tried to stop drinking on his own with little lasting success. His attempts became a cycle of quitting and relapsing, which over time took an emotional toll and made the pain of withdrawal more intense.  

Eventually opening up to his family about his struggle was the beginning of a road to recovery. But it took several tries before landing on the right combination of treatments.

Joseph’s father introduced him to friends in Alcoholics Anonymous. But Joseph couldn’t relate to this older generation, to the label or to the mental shift required. Instead, Joseph continued what he calls his white-knuckle approach to sobriety. He relied on willpower to see him through, and yet, his relapses were becoming more public and more damaging.

 Joseph was miserable and feeling so low, he contemplated ending his life. Therapy helped him deal with this emotional toll and with personal issues, and importantly, to understand that his brain had connected acceptance, love, success and popularity with alcohol.

And yet, he still struggled to physically gain control over his drinking. Over the next year, he failed at three different rehab centres, totalled his car, had a seizure at work, and finally landed in the drunk tank. “In that jail cell, I just truly realized what alcohol had done to me. I was ready to do whatever it took to quit.

To deal with physical cravings, Joseph was prescribed medications for AUD, but this too, took several tries before landing on an option that brought relief. He was first prescribed naltrexone, using the Sinclair Method. “I was so disappointed that this didn’t work for me.” He was then prescribed ondansetron, then baclofen, and finally a combination of topiramate and ondansetron.

The topiramate/ondansetron combination worked, eliminating both cravings and withdrawal symptoms. “This was the first time I was at peace,” Joseph says of the new-found freedom and relief.

This treatment came at the right time in his life. He had made a firm decision to change, he had the support of his family behind him, and then with the physical relief provided by the medications, Joseph was empowered to work to get his life back on track. “The medication was just the most amazing support.”

Joseph has since tapered off medications. He has a new and fulfilling career, is physically fit and free from cravings. “I feel truly blessed,” he says. “I’m now way further ahead in my life. I’m at a point where I don’t need alcohol.”

Joseph is grateful for his dad’s support as they sought out new treatments, and for the hope provided by CAUDS founder, Dr. Jeff Harries. “Dr. Harries’ advice that one of these medications would work gave me a lot of hope in a dark time.”

Joseph has a renewed confidence, but as with any chronic disease management, he has a plan in case of relapse. He says he will go back on the medications and seek therapy, but most of all, he won’t hide or feel shame, adding that he feels just like someone with a bad back. If pain flares up, you seek treatment.

Joseph advises others to let go of any stigma attached to AUD, and to understand that it is a treatable medical condition. “You don’t need to fight this alone. There’s treatment out there for you.”

*Name changed to maintain privacy