Thanks to treatment, a mother reunites with her son
“They’re taking my son away.” Without waiting to hear more, Anna-Margaret* jumped into her car and drove through the day and into the night to reach her daughter’s home.
When she arrived at 2am, Anna-Margaret’s four-year-old grandson and her daughter, Barbra-May, were still up. “I realized then that she had a really bad drinking problem.” Anna-Margaret knew her daughter drank frequently and sometimes heavily, especially when Barbra-May’s partner was away for months for work. But it was a shock to see how dire her daughter’s situation had become.
Anna-Margaret was able to intervene and take her grandson back home with her, setting up everyday needs like daycare while also providing a safe and comfortable refuge for him. But she worried for her daughter.
Barbra-May and her partner continued to struggle with addiction, and, just weeks later Barbra-May moved back south to be near and to connect with her son.
It was an immense struggle to stay sober, a condition of being able to see or live with her son. Barbra-May would have weeks of success, and then resume drinking. At a low point she drank 27 bottles of vodka in five days and wound up in the hospital for a month. She tried to enroll in rehab but was refused because she couldn’t stay sober for a week prior to entry. Eventually, Barbra-May became homeless.
All the while, Anna-Margaret was doing everything she could to keep her grandson safe, and to help her daughter. During this journey, Anna-Margaret learned about the Canadian Alcohol Use Disorder Society and medical treatment for AUD. After doing research, Anna-Margaret printed off information and a patient handout for her daughter to take to her physician. Luckily, the psychiatrist knew about medications for AUD, and had prescribed one to Barbra-May to ease cravings.
The medications complemented the support that Barbra-May was receiving through her visits to the psychiatrist, through drug and alcohol counselling, at Alcohol Anonymous meetings and with her family. “The medication slowed the amount she was drinking,” says Anna-Margaret. “She changed.”
Seven months later, Barbra-May is sober, without cravings and has been able to stop taking medications. She has a new car, an apartment, and is back working full-time as a care aide. “She’s amazing at it,” Anna-Margaret says with pride. Best of all, Barbra-May is able to see her son four days a week, take him to school and to extracurricular activities. “She’s really good with him and a good mom.”
During the first few months of sobriety, Anna-Margaret was concerned that her daughter would relapse or not be open with her, but is much more confident now.
“I don’t have to worry about her drinking again.” Anna-Margaret says, describing the huge amount of stress lifted from her shoulders. ““I thought I had lost her. I thought I was going to find her dead. But where she is at now is just amazing. She’s back to the girl she was five years ago.”
While Barbra-May attends an occasional AA meeting, her psychiatrist has told her that with her progress and with her sobriety, she no longer needs to see him. Barbra-May is also much healthier physically. Drinking had affected Barbra-May’s liver, caused high blood pressure, a bout of alcoholic psychosis and led to many injuries from falls. In fact, a head injury may have been the trigger for the increased drinking that occurred just prior to moving north.
Anna-Margaret is thrilled with Barbra-May, and with her grandson’s progress. Although only in kindergarten, he remembers his life before his mom’s sobriety. “He has said things like, ‘Remember when I didn’t have a bedtime?’ Or he’d repeat, ‘Thank you for coming to get me.’” He didn’t speak of or miss his parents when away. “But now he wants his mom at bedtime, and is just a happy, healthy little boy,” Anna-Margaret says with pride. “We’re hopeful that by Christmastime he’ll be living with her full-time.”
*Name changed to maintain privacy