Stopping the self destruction
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My parents were always fighting. My father was a heavy drinker. Things were unpredictable consequently I felt insecure and full of anxiety. Feelings were never discussed and there were never any displays of affection. I did not understand or even know how to show love and be affectionate. With my own family l was not capable of providing the most important things in life - - love and affection. The fact that l am athletic saw me heavily involved in sports which was critical to my sense of self worth and dealing with the stress. I have always had great friends which are supportive and critical to my existence in managing my life.
Experiencing all the pain and suffering at home and seeing how alcohol
was toxic to my parents relationship, l promised myself that l would never drink. Inexplicably at 17 I broke that promise. This started 23 years of self destruction.
Up until the age of 40 my lifestyle included heavy drinking, smoking, not eating regularly and when I did eat it wasn’t healthy food. I was a “ binge “ drinker. Once l started to drink l didn’t stop as l was seriously addicted and had a few blackouts.
You feel very alone and suicidal thoughts become frequent. I was always projecting instead of living in the moment one day at a time.
In 1976 l was given an ultimatum by my wife that l either stop drinking or l would be living alone. I stopped drinking on October 21, 1976. Seven torturous years later l joined AA and worked extremely hard on the 12 steps, with major concentration on
step 4. I came to terms with my demons from the past which was the major factor in sustaining my sobriety. Finally l had some peace of mind.
In 1956 l enrolled at the University of Montana. I was drinking on weekends and at least once a week. Somehow I managed to graduate. In 1965 I began to work for Imperial Oil in the Marketing Dept. l was doing substantial travelling entertaining and being entertained. I was drinking at least 2 or 3 times a week. In 1973 I entered the real estate business where I became very successful. Celebrating a sale or a good month become a familiar and destructive routine.
Having strong will power was an asset and helped me come to terms with my issues. I did my best to make amends to the people who l had hurt by my arrogant and selfish ways. A major asset in my sobriety was a fitness program that involved
weight training and cardiovascular training which I do. I loved mountain biking both riding and racing. As an athlete competition and being active in sports is a priority for me. I have a nutrition program which started years ago. I eat healthy nutrient dense whole foods and this is very important in my sobriety. I have had some bad situations during my sobriety but l have never even thought of having a drink to deal with these situations.
My advice for practicing alcoholics, however it is done, is to eliminate the reasons why they drink. I was successful in coming to terms with my reasons for drinking so it can be accomplished.
— John Templeton